Football transfer rumours: Andy Carroll on his way back to Newcastle?

The Mill, let's be honest, has never been a fussy purveyor of tittle-tattle. Standards? They're something you pick up to read on the tube. So when, on days such as today, we happen across a gossip-vacuum, the tabloids full of Cheryl Cole's shoes and X-Factor frippery rather than good, honest football speculation, we have no problem digging into the wacky tin-foil-hatted parts of the web for our daily dose of transfer intrigue. Which is why we can report that Liverpool are considering a swap deal that would see Andy Carroll heading back to Newcastle in exchange for Cheick Tioté . Kenny Dalglish wants Tioté to fill in for the injured Lucas Leiva and is prepared to send his pony-tailed wardrobe back to St James' Park in exchange. In the same vein, Manchester United are ready to spend £30m on Athletic Bilbao's Javi Martínez . Obviously. Not quite as far-fetched is the belief that Martin O'Neill wants to take United's Darron Gibson, Tottenham's Vedran Corluka and West Brom's Peter Odemwingie to Sunderland – sensible signings that should help keep Sunderland in the Premier League. And Darron Gibson. Newcastle's shipping of three goals on Saturday was enough to convince Alan Pardew that he needs defensive reinforcements – Montpellier captain Mapou Yanga-Mbiwa and PSV's Erik Pieters are on his January shopping list. Arsenal's shipping of oodles of goals over the past few years has been enough to convince Arsène Wenger that he needs defensive reinforcements – Nice defender, not to be confused with nice defender, Fabián Monzón is on his January shopping list. QPR are set to offer £2m for "Barcelona B goal machine" Jonathan Soriano , and Southampton are ready to splash £3.25m on Doncaster's Billy Sharp . And Paris St-Germain want to replace Antoine Kombouaré with Rafa Benítez .