He's just Marilyn – Marilyn Manson from the block

Fans of Marilyn Manson will be thrilled to learn that he has finally one-upped the try-hard self-parody of his 2005 wedding to Dita Von Teese – which was reportedly lit by the great-grandchildren of Hitler's favourite architect and featured, get this, a worst man – with his backstage rider demands . A support act has revealed that Manson will only perform if his dressing room has been painted black and kept at a temperature lower than 10C, and nobody ever makes eye contact with him. Which, give or take a couple of shades and degrees, more or less makes him the same as Jennifer Lopez. This is great news, especially for anyone desperate to see Manson star in a romcom where he plays a kooky wedding planner who falls for Matthew McConaughey. Stick at it, Marilyn! A few more years like this and you too can appear in a television advert for a Fiat 500! You just need to believe!