Football transfer rumours: Romelu Lukaku to Fulham on loan?

This has been a big week for Joe Moron. Patriotism's Stuart Pearce and Passion's Scott Parker both tried their damndest for Bravery's England against Them Forriners from Over There, and now the FA wants to chuck our new-found national pride in the bin by giving the England job to Pep Guardiola or José Mourinho . Treason! You've got to hand it to the FA, though, haven't you, for having the sheer bloody-minded optimism to believe that Pep's presence would herald the age of Barriesta. Unlike England, Pep may pass. But there's a reason the FA is suddenly having to cast the net a little higher and wider, with fears growing that Harry Redknapp , having seen the half-baked shambles against the Dutch, is growing cold on the idea of a first-round exit at the Euros. All of which means … come in, Stuart Pearce , the man who reckons he's not got the requisite experience to be in charge full-time. And who once played David James up front. And who oversaw the England Under-21s' catastrophic flop at last summer's European Championship. And whose Manchester City side went what felt like 14 years without scoring a goal at home. Maybe Fabio Capello wasn't so bad after all, eh? And now, a short musical interlude. There, all better. Now, on the off-chance that Guardiola turns down the chance to work with Gérard Cahill, the Barcelona manager is planning to part with £20.8m to sign Robin van Persie from Arsenal, who of course ended their seven-year trophy drought last Sunday after skelping Tottenham Hotspur 5-2. Arsenal will console themselves by signing a £5m pre-contract deal with the Argentinian striker Matias Suárez of Anderlecht . Yes, Suárez. Speaking of whom, another south American striker could be off to Liverpool , with the Colombia and Jaguares forward Jackson Martínez claiming Kenny Dalglish is after him. In another show of pernicious, virulent and blatant anti-Liverpool bias, Robbie Fowler was left out of the England squad, so to increase his chances of going to Euro 2012 the property magnate is set to join Blackpool until the end of the season. Former next big thing Romelu Lukaku – remember him? – wants out of Chelsea and is ready to join Fulham on loan. Bolton and Everton are also sniffing around, but the Belgian striker would prefer to stay in the capital. In that case, maybe he could manage England.