UBS fashions the rules for banking chic

A flawless appearance can bring inner peace and a sense of security. So says a staff dress code drawn up by the Swiss bank UBS that was the source of much mirth in the City last week. The 43-page document, intended for UBS's retail branch staff in Switzerland, urges women to wear flesh-coloured underwear and skirts extending to 5cm below the knee. When visiting the hairdresser, they should always ask themselves: "Is this a cut that suits my age?" For men, UBS solemnly prescribes jackets that completely cover the posterior and shirt cuffs extending up to 2.5cm beyond the end of sleeves. Socks with cartoon motifs are strictly verboten . Ultra-trendy eyewear is not tolerated. Shirts must always be dry-cleaned, and – bafflingly – watches are acceptable to the extent that they do not threaten safety. All common sense, insists UBS – but nonetheless the document appears to have gone viral. The Wall Street Journal claims the bank's dress code ranked alongside the WikiLeaks files among the most sought-after documents on the web last week. Within 48 hours, it had found its way as far as New Zealand television and the Vancouver Sun . Mock? We might mock. But Swiss banks know their market: the last thing they want is an octogenarian millionaire keeling over in the foyer of the Basle branch at the glimpse of a cashier's black brassiere strap.