Populist: The column that wants anti-matter hair transplants

Vic & Bob's Afternoon Delights Vic and Bob follow Alan Partridge online next month for some Aussie beer-sponsored sketches. Maids of dishonour We like Bridesmaids , the upcoming ensemble galcom, but are keen to know how one scene – involving the after-effects of a dodgy Brazilian bbq – will go down. Or come back up again. The Marriage Ref UK Coming soon to ITV1 – Dermot O'Leary in a version of the Jerry Seinfeld panel advice show flop. Uke can do it Fans of the ukelele should rejoice at the return of Beirut, with single East Harlem, while saving the Duke of Uke at dukeofuke.co.uk Steel yourselves Jamie xx's new single Far Nearer is a built around a catchy steel drum part – the calypso crossover starts here. SS Indie ahoy Tickets for three-day US festival Holy Ship! go on sale next week, with Diplo, A-Trak and Buraka Som Sistema soundtracking a party-boat cruise to the Bahamas. Swag Reaching saturation point but given a new lease of life thanks to Kanye West's "swag sauce/swagu" play in laidback Beyoncé album track Party. Paxman, baffled for once "Coming up: Firesheep stalks the internet cloud. I have no idea what I'm talking about." twitter.com/guideguardian guardianguide.tumblr.com