Dynamo Kiev v Manchester City - as it happened

Preamble: This match promises to be interesting for several reasons. Honest! Firstly, there's the fact that the temperature is expected to plummet to well below freezing, which may mean City will actually try to go forward a bit rather than grind out another 0-0 draw, if only to keep warm (and the line-up is promising in that regard). Secondly, it's a chance to see Andriy Shevchenko in action again and gauge whether Fernando Torres's current impersonation of him is still uncanny? and thirdly, the presence of Shevchenko may inspire a top performance from Edin Dzeko, as Louse Taylor explains here . Regurgitated food for thought: There were heated scenes at one rowdy sub-section of the sports desk today following intense disagreement over the precise composition of Scandinavia. Many sources maintained that it's just Denmark, Norway and Sweden and that your Icelands and Greenlands and so on are merely Nordic countries and not Scandily clad. Dissenters, including one Swede, insisted that Iceland is part of Scandinavia. So my question is: was my Swedish colleague's school teacher an ignoramus? Might he be part of an expansionist conspiracy that may include the Scandinavian tourist board ? Is there some kind of Swedish Darien scheme afoot? Who do Icelanders think they are? Vikings, they didn't really have horns on their helmets, did they? Has any of you ever been to the Welsh part of Patagonia ? What, really, are the chances of the Kiev-City match distracting us from these investigations? Teams: Kiev: Shovkovsky; Danilo Silva, Khacheridi, Yussuf, Popov; Gusev, Vukojevic, Eremenko, Yarmolenko; Shevchenko, Milevsky Subs: Koval, Betao, Garmash, Kravets, Ninkovic, Almeida, Gulherme City: Hart; Richards, Kompany, Lescott, Zabaleta; Y Toure, Barry, Kolarov; Silva, Dzeko, Balotelli Subs: Taylor, Wright-Phillips, Boateng, Vieira, Tevez, De Jong, Boyata 7:58pm: ITV's interviewing is trying to coax Roberto Mancini into denouncing the pitch. The Italian shows himself to be a model of calm reason: "With this cold it's normal that the pitch is hard," he replies, unperturbed. "Both your Swedish chum and your dear self are horrendously wasted when it comes to Scandinavia," hollers Sasu, who claims to be Finnish. "Iceland is nowhere near it, Finland is part and heart of it. Fact, as Rafa and Brentmeister General would put it." He's just stirring the swill, isn't he? 8:01pm: "Well I'm a Dane," mourns Keld Ravn Cramer. "The distinction has always been Scandinavia = Sweden, Denmark and Norway, while the Nordic countries include Iceland and Finland. The great football tournament, Royal League, was between Danish, Swedish and Norwegian teams and had the subheading: The Very Best of Scandinavia. So a football argument, surely that can't be defeated?" But that could just mean that the organisers thought Finns and Icelanders were rubbish at football. 8:03pm: "Off the top of my head and without Wikipediaing it I'd say your Swedish friend is guilty of a little historical revisionism," denounces Robin Hazelhurst. "When Iceland was part of Denmark it was probably part of Scandinavia, in the way that bits of South America are in the EU because France owns them. But as Scandinavia is the territory of the three Kingdoms, then Iceland is no longer part as they are no longer subjects of the Danish crown (I think). Like Finland is no longer part of the Swedish Kingdom, so not Scandinavian, but it presumably was until the Great Northern War around 1700." By that logic, isn't Greenland, a plaything of the Danish kingdom, part of Scandinavia? 1 min: Amid deeply hostile whistling from the hardy home crowd, City get the game under way. 2 min: Kolarov flights in a decent corner. It comes to Balotelli, about 12 yards out, and he sends an awkward volley over. Meanwhile, it has come to my attention that Gareth Barry is wearing short sleeves. What a man! Being warm is so wimpy. 4 min: Our pre-match hopes look like being fulfilled, on the evidence so far. City are being very enterprising, with Kolarov looking particularly dangerous. He's just romped down the left and fired in another vicious cross. Fortunately for the Ukrainians no City player could apply a killer touch. 6 min: A further indication of City's positivity: Richards bounds forward to provide a useful overlap. But then he's incorrectly hauled back for offside. 8 min: Peter Drury and jim Beglin in the ITV gantry are really obsessing over this pitch, arguing that its hardness makes it "almost like an artificial pitch". Verily, it is outrageous that all European ties are not played in Blighty. 11 min: City are on top here. And would have taken the lead if not for a fine intervention by the Kiev keeper, who hurtled off his line to prevent Richards from latching on to Silva's typically deft through-ball. In other news, and perhaps as a tribute to our Nordic theme, Roberto Mancini is sporting a big woolly hat with bobbin, not unlike the one famously worn by that Faroe Islands keeper of yore. "Whenever I see the name Kiev, I always immediately think of Mini Chicken Kievs (though not very original, it is very true) and was wondering if other readers had similar experiences," blathers Luke Crane. "Though when I think of Yorkshire Pudding, I always think of Sean Bean." 12 min: That old sprite Shevchenko shows tricky feet to twinkle his way past two defenders on the edge of the City box and pull a decent ball back for a team-mate. Lescott intercepts. 14 min: Kiev seem to have decided to try to absorb City's pressure and spring only on the counter-attack. No pressing high up the pitch. "I'm from Finland and I've never identified myself as Scandinavian," rages Lasse Olkinuora. "I'm Finnish first, Nordic second. Maybe older generations were taught that they're Scandinavian but they're wrong, a bit like my history teacher in the States who claimed that Finland is still part of Russia. This was back in 96 and when I told her that that's not true she told me that I'm a from 'a semi-dictatorship and that I have to make such outrageous claims because the government wants me to'. I got an F." What the teacher get? The sack, I hope? 17 mins: Kiev are surrounding Silva every time he gets the ball, having twigged that he is City's most inventive player. They were a little too zealous in their clustering just now, though, and conceded a freekick about 28 yards out. Kolarov is sizing up a shot ..."You're right," yells Halldór Ásgrímsson. "Vikings did not wear horns on their helmets." 18 min: Kolarov spoons a gentle shot straight into the keeper's arms. 21 min: City really are going for it here. They're swarming forward (and Kiev are bunched back) constantly. A nice exchange between Kolarov and Dzeko has just concluded with the Serbian banging in yet another shot, this time from the edge of the area. But again it was straight at the keeper. "The ITV gassers should stop crabbing and read today's Guardian story about soldiers playing football in the trenches (literally) of World War I before pushing forward to die," orders Paul Szabo. "Talk about manning up ..." GOAL! Kiev 1-0 City (Shevchenko 24') That was Kiev's first sortie forward for a while, lead initially by Gusev, and it resulted in a fine predatory goal by Shevchenko. Yarmulenko threw a few lollypops wide on the left and then curled an inviting cross into the near post, where the venerable old striker got the jump on Hart and poked into the net from close range! 26 min: Balotelli attempts a shot from a freekick some 36 yards out. It's a pitiful effort and Kiev boot clear with ease. 28 min: We're back to the pre-goal pattern, City dominating, Kiev defending in maximum numbers. 30 min: Kiev pour forward on the counter, Gusev again to the fore. But the move meets with a drab end as Yussuf sends a piddler way wide. 32 min: Gah! Richards denied the chance to cross after working himself into a good position because the ref awarded a freekick against him ... basically for being too strong for Ayila. Which is annoyingly wrong-headed of the ref, and quite typical. 34 min: Milevsky goes down in the box under a challenge from Kompany. The Belgian did catch him but he exaggerated the fall so much that the ref felt compelled to refuse him a penalty. Proper order. 36 min: Kolarov loses the ball in the Kiev half and chases half-heartedly after the speeding Gusev. Zabaleta has to step in to snuff out a dangerous-looking break. 38 min: Poor old Richards is getting the same treatment from refs that Peter Crouch routinely suffers: every time he wins a challenge it's a freekick against him. Ridiculous. 39 min: Jagged move by Kiev! Milevsky slipped the ball through to Shevchenko, who ghosted past Kompany in the box before being forced out for a corner. Yarmulenko swings it in, Kompany heads it out and Shevchenko lets fly with a volley from 22 yards. Over the bar. 41 min: Another City attack is sabotaged by a Kiev defender jumping to the ground and duping the referee. This is becoming very irritating. 43 min: City freekick from the left. Kolarov fizzes it in. Kiev whack it back out and race forward on the counter-attack. Yarmulenko, popping up on the right rather than the left, centres. Shevchenko controls it with his chest but his 20-yard volley is charged down by Lescott. City try to break ... but again their momentum is stalled by Kiev dive, which the ref - Florian Meyer of Germany - buys whole. 45 min: Eremenko and Yarmulenko combines slickly down the left before teeing up Milevsky, who bogged the ball high and wide from 20 yards. Half-time: It's been a fun half and more goals look likely. Do come back for the second period. Please. 46 min: The second half gets under way with City numerically disadvantaged: Balotelli, you see, hasn't turned up yet! In your own time, son ... 46min 17sec: Amid scenes of utter exasperation from Mancini, Balotelli totters out of the dressing room on and onto the pitch ... 47 min: The ref is asking Balotelli to go off for treatment. The italian is holding his eyes. Does he wear contact lenses? Might one of them have become displaced? It's not at all obvious what's wrong with him but he is on the sideline surrounded by City staff. 48 min: According to ITV's touchline reporter Balotelli told City's medical staff at half-time that's he's feeling very unwell. But he's back on the pitch now. Confusion abounds. 50 min: Balotelli fires in a corner. The keeper claims it well and hurls it out to Shevchenko as the home side attempt to launch another swift counter-attack. They didn't get very far this time. Balotelli, by the way, is still blinking and wincing - he looks distressed: why are they leaving him on? All very strange. "The whole Europa League is a waste of time," booms Declan Johnston. "Andre Vilas Boas, Mourinho's doppelganger is bound to win it with Porto in a series of 1-0 victories. I'm just back from freezing myself at the Luzhniki Stadium, watching them cruise through very effectively!" 53 min: It's all about Balotelli. He's just been booked for a late tackle on Yussuf, who remains writhing on the ground. 55 min: All a bit stale from City, who are showing no signs of penetrating the disciplined ranks of Dynamo. "Re: your entry on 32 mins - 'wrong-headed' is one of those words that you only ever see used by journalists and never hear used in actual conversation, isn't it?" blurts Brian Russell, incorrectly I think. "Another example is 'egregious'. Can you think of any others?" Swoop? as in "a transfer swoop" for a player? I never say I made a swoop for a carton of milk in Lidl. 57 min: City change: Balotelli is finally taken off, still looking ill, and Tevez is thrust into the action. 59 min: Lovely run and pull-back by Tevez to Silva at the edge of the area. The Spaniard delayed shooting and had the ball poked away from him by a defender, but it broke to Toure, who rifled a wicked low towards the bottom corner from 24 yards, producing a good save from Shovkovsky. "Journalists' words?" parps Matthew Ayre. "Romp!" 62 min: After fine work by Yarmulenko, Milvesky attempts a sly low shot through Richards' legs. But he didn't get enough power on it to trouble Hart. "How about 'risible'?" offers Peter Busby by way of journalist-only words. 65 min: Wonderful play by Gusev to instigate another Kiev attack. They're beginning to take the upperhand here as City become ever more disjointed. Fortunately for the visitors that latest move petered out as soon as it reached the City box. "He'll be hoping to squeeze another one out," opines Jim Beglin as the camera pans to the Kiev coach on the sideline. Golly. 67 min: Good shot by Lescott! A City cross broke to the centreback at the edge of the box and he blemmed it hard and true. Well held by the keeper. "Broadcast journalists have to be careful too," lectures Paul Tooby. "I have a friend who describes every deflection as 'wicked', even the most inconsequential of them, because he thinks that that's just what you have to say." 70 min: Tevez has made a difference since coming on, his energetic bustling unsettling the Kiev defence. He started another attack just now that lead to momentary panic in the home box until Shevcehnko, of all people, cleared the ball off the toes of Silva. "Fracas," announces Karen Davis. "Has anyone ever been at a bar at closing time and said 'oh dear, there seems to be a fracas over there! Let's hurry home lest we become embroiled in a donnybrook!'" 72 min: Kolarov goes close with a reasonable effort from distance. "'Roil' is my most hated of journalistic words," bellows Hugh Collins. "When was the last time you heard somebody say 'I left my keys at home - completely roiled my day'?" I do believe that I have never said that. 75 min: Zabaleta cross from right. Dzeko, reminding us that he's on the pitch, gets a touch to help it on towards Silva. Kiev regroup and corral their opponents away. "I've always enjoyed the overuse of the word 'slam', as in 'Wenger slams red-card decision'," gushes Niall McVeigh. "It makes even my mundane existence sound headline worthy - 'McVeigh slams canteen selection', for instance." GOAL! Kiev 2-0 City (Gusev 77') Kiev break down the right and clip a cross towards Milevskiy in the centre. Kompany manages to head away from the striker but it bounces on the City penalty spot and Gusev beats Richards to it and thunder the ball past Hart and into the net! Cue ear-splitting jubilation in the stands! 79 min: Tevez receives the ball some 31.4 yards from the Kiev goals. Turns. Shuffles forward a bit. Then shoot, low and hard. Keeper saves. 81 min: Yussuf booked for felling Dzeko just inside the Kiev half. And here comes the world's smallest cavalry: Kolarov off, Wright-Phillips on. 83 min: Gusev tears into the box and lets fly. Lescott gets enough of a touch to his shot to take some of the sting out of it, enabling Hart to save comfortably. "When it comes to journalism words, I think 'wantaway' is a bit special," declares Dennis Johns. 86 min: Dzeko forages down the left. Plays inside to Silva, who shoots from the edge of the box. Blocked. "Just started following the match," admits Pekka Seppänen. "As a Finn, I have to say it's probably true we're not part of Scandinavia. After all we've never had royalty: we tried to hire Prince Friedrich of Hessen when we acquired independence but he declined the crown. But how's Eremenko doing in Kiev's side? After all he's sort of royalty among Finnish footballers: the €5m paid for him is the biggest transfer fee paid for any Finnish football player so far." He's done well, a right trickster. 88 min: To an ovation from the home crowd Shevchenko exits. On comes Ninkovic in his place. 89 min: Freekick to City. The big men come up from the back. But City take it short and Silva loses possession. Suddenly Kiev are hurtling towards the City goal! Gusev tries to slide it past Hart but the keeper diverts it behind for a corner. 90 min: Hart saves a long-range ping from Eremenko. "The most overused journo word with regard to Eastern European football used to be that old chestnut, the 'crack' Soviet Bloc team," foghorns Justin Kavanagh. "So are Kiev still a 'crack' outfit, Paul, or are City just too cold to take off their snoods tonight?" Kiev's crack quotient has certainly been higher than City's, faster , more coherent and more cutting. Incidentally, I reckon those teams were routintely described as "crack outfits' to make them sound sinister, less human during the Cold War, much the same way as the USSR team were systematically referred to as the 'ruthless Red machine'. 90+2 min: City are attempting to pile on the pressure but Kiev are keeping them at bay without much ado. Full-time: Dynamo deserved that. City began brightly but very quickly lost their rhythm and mojo. This is a team that manifestly has not yet 'gelled', as they say. Dynamo were far more coherent and dangerous. They speed on the counter-attack means they will remain a threat at Eastlands. Progressing is a huge task now for City.