Football transfer rumours: Arsenal to keep Robin van Persie until 2013?

It's almost that time of year, folks. When the sun comes out, the flesh comes out – and when your will to live is drained by a never-ending transfer saga or three. This summer's premier saga is going to involve Robin van Persie , Manchester City, and the Sky Sports News Breaking News Ticker O'Doom doing overtime. Tomorrow's chip paper suggests that with Arsene Wenger realising Arsenal are a one-van team he will not sell Van Persie in the summer and is happy to risk losing him on a Bosman in 2013. Van Persie , whose head may have been turned by tantalising talk of mysterious things called trophies, turns 30 in August 2013. Van Persie will/won't/may/MAKEITSTOP play alongside Lukas Podolski next season. Podolski turned down a huge offer from Anzhi Makhachkala – including a jacuzzi made entirely of money and a top-secret document telling him what actually happened to that Russian oaf in The Sopranos – to agree a move to Arsenal. The Mill is still reeling from the news that, at the age of 26, Podolski has scored 43 international goals ! In other news, Kenny Dalglish will take time off from modelling a padded jacket that doesn't really work on a man his age to sign 23-year-old Brazil international defender Dede from Vasco da Gama . Manchester United want two players. And what Manchester United want, Manchester United don't get any more because they're skint. Juventus – who are already in Sir Alex Ferguson's 797,147,256,231-page Bad Book over Paul Pogba – want to steal Basel enforcer Granit Xhaka from under his empurpled nose. United are also keen on Benfica's Axel Witsel . But so are Manchester City, so there that goes. Brendan Rodgers FC will have to pay Hoffenheim £6m if they want to sell replica shirts with the name ' Sigurdsson ' on the back next season. AC Milan will begin plans to reunite the legendary West Ham 2006-07 squad by signing two of Javier Mascherano, Nigel Quashie and Carlos Tevez . Last but not least, and in a surprising development, Pep Guardiola doesn't want to swap Barcelona for a load of egomaniacal football-illiterate has-beens in west London.