Pass notes No 3,089: Hermès

Age: 174. Appearance: Refined. Best known for its silk scarves if I'm not mistaken? Indeed. Though it began as a maker of bridles and harnesses – hence the famous horse-and-carriage logo. How much does one cost? A bridle or a harness? A scarf. A snip at £260. I'll take two. Is there a discount? Wash your mouth out. This is an exclusive product handmade by French craftsmen in traditional workshops. Hermès is still a predominantly family-owned business that stands for quality, tradition and exclusivity. And outrageous prices. OK, that too. What else does it make? Handbags, jewellery, clothes, gloves, watches, perfume and a very exclusive range of plastic gnomes. Gnomes, really? No, I made that up. You would think in these straitened times Hermès might be having to rethink its strategy. Ah-ah! Give yourself a prize. You have hit on the precise reason for this somewhat laboured survey of the history of a famous French luxury goods maker. It is going to make plastic gnomes after all. No, I really wish I'd never mentioned plastic gnomes. It is looking east, and swapping scarves for designer saris. Oh! Calcutta! Mumbai actually, where a range of Hermès saris retailing at $6,000 (£3,850) a throw has just sold out. The company says it intends "to become part of Indian life". Is this the India in which an estimated 40% of the population live on less than $1.25 a day? I hope you're not some sort of socialist. India has a large, affluent elite and a culture of aspiration. Save that $1.25 a day, and in less than 14 years a Hermès designer sari will be yours. Not to be confused with: All the other luxury goods companies scrambling to sell to the nouveaux riches of India and China. Do say: "What an insult to Asia's impoverished multitudes!" Don't say: "Who's sari now?"