Tortoise in Love – review

Coming over like a collaboration between untutored admirers of Richard Curtis and Benny Hill, this romantic comedy centres on a shy middle-class chap returning from London to work in his native Oxfordshire village and seeking assistance from dim local yokels in his bid to woo a beautiful Polish au pair. It was financed by the citizens of Kingston Bagpuize , many of whom appear in it (including local MP Ed Vaizey) and is rather less fun than a saucy Women's Institute calendar.