Gay Dad

My mother is very excited that I have a new boyfriend. Every time we speak she asks, in a slightly anxious voice, if it's still on with Simon. Apart from my ex-wife, she's only met two of my partners – and shortly after both those meetings the relationships ended. I like to think it a coincidence. Although she hates the thought of either of her children being alone, she still tends to sound a little surprised at how short my periods of singledom are. She once, in a very polite voice, asked me if I was a "bit of a slag". I'm not sure she was quite aware how rude that question was, but it rather took me aback coming from my own mother. I still find it a little strange talking to her about being gay; partly because I have two children, and partly because of something she said when I was 22. She asked me when I popped home from art college one weekend if I was gay. Although I had a boyfriend at the time, I was still unsure which way I wanted to swing and so I denied it. "Oh thank god," she said. "If you had been gay I would have blamed myself." Thanks. Ten years, one marriage and two children later, when I did come out to my mum, her first reaction was: "Well, at least you gave me two grandchildren first." Somehow my sexuality is always about her.